Stephen on MyDeathSpace.com

I've gotten 3 messages from strangers lately sending condolences and when I asked one of them how they found out about Stephen, they said his myspace profile was posted on MyDeathSpace.com, a website where they list the myspace pages that memorialize people.

I am so glad Stephen's story is making the rounds. We have a lot of people in so many states and countries learning about what a great person Stephen was and what drunk driving does to families. My two wishes are that:

1. People will learn that drunk driving is sooooo avoidable and can have repercussions too numerous to count. DON'T DO IT!!!

and

2. For any families and loved ones going through the death of a young person in their life, whether it be due to drunk driving or any other sudden, tragic cause, I hope that my blogging and messages from Stephen's friends can be a source of comfort and education. Along this whole journey, my main questions have been, "why?", and "what's the next step?" Stephen's death wasn't just going through the tragic loss, but also learning a lot about the legal system. I've been through this with my parents every step of the way, and if I can just help one person know who to contact or how to follow up and not let their loved one die in vain, that would be a lot for me.

So...who posted Stephen's Myspace on MyDeathSpace.com? Just curious...it may not have been any of his friends, just someone who came across it. It was posted on December 29. Here's the link:

Stephen on MyDeathSpace.com

And to look at more Myspace profiles for people who have passed away, scroll up to the top of Stephen's page there and click on latest articles. It will give you a list. It's so sad how many families are grieving.

Thanks for still being there, all of you.

A message from Stephen?

So I was cleaning the living room and came across a magazine that came in the mail that I hadn't opened yet. It was wrapped in plastic and I noticed there was a poster with it. I opened the poster up and it was an ad for the Nikon D3 camera. It was taken at the Brainerd International Speedway.

I thought, "Stephen would love this poster."

Then I noticed all the bikes had numbers on them. I said to Bill, "Wouldn't that be wierd if one of them had the number 7 on it?" And I noticed, the teeny one in the background WAS number 7.

Then I noticed the helmets...all ARAI helmets, the same brand Stephen wore. Is that a coincidence or what?

I am getting little messages like this more and more and I definitely feel Stephen is still with me. I was really having a hard time, the closer it got to Christmas, so this poster just made my day.

I'll put the poster below, and I've inset the helmet and the bike number, zoomed in, into the picture.



And Stephen's helmet. His had stickers on it, too, but this is a stock photo of his helmet.

Greater news...

We had a meeting with our attorney this morning, and we finally got an answer we've been waiting for...the driver's toxicology results. The female who hit Stephen had blood and urine samples taken and tested.

I was strongly encouraged NOT to give you the EXACT number of her Blood Alcohol Content, but I will tell you that it was over the legal limit and there is absoutely no way she will be able to "wriggle" out of this situation. It was high enough that she will be prosecuted to the fullest extent. I will also tell you that once I am able to tell you, you absolutely WILL NOT believe it when you hear it...it's that unbelieveable!

We're one step closer to justice...!

The picture says a lot...

This picture was taken on July 4th, 2007. I haven't seen it before today. I was looking at my camera and Stephen was watching the kids play. Those shorts are the ones we chose for the viewing, and now that I've seen the picture and found that he liked wearing them, I think we made the right choice.

Beautiful way to explain death

WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT...


A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door. On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing...

I know my Master is there and that is enough."

May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly
Where you are meant to be.
I believe that friends are quiet angels
Who lift us to our feet when our wings
Have trouble remembering how to fly.

3 months today...

It has been 3 months today, Stephen. I can't believe we made it this long without you. The day I saw you in the morgue, I thought I wouldn't be able to make it one day, let alone 3 months.

I miss you so bad. But your death was not in vain. You have touched people all over the world through your death, and so many people have gotten to see first-hand what drunk driving does to families. We are so proud of you that you had no drugs in your system and that you weren't drunk. That makes us so proud.

We're going to court in less than 2 weeks and we can't wait to finally have some more answers.

We love you more than words can say and you are deeply, terribly missed. I hope you're smiling down on us and you are proud of what we're doing for you. I hope we've done everything you would have wanted us to do for you. I love you, little brother.

The preliminary hearing has been scheduled

We got the call today! The preliminary hearing has been scheduled! This is the hearing where the evidence will be presented and Chrissie will enter her plea. Let's hope she pleads guilty and makes this be over as soon as possible.

We're being told it could be a year before the actual trial begins. After the prelim. hearing, it goes before the Grand Jury, and that's a close courtroom. So none of us will be allowed in. Then we have the trial. Who knows how long that will be?

The preliminary hearing will be in 2 weeks; on Wednesday, December 19 at 9:00am at the Greenville County Court House. If you can make it over there, it would be nice to have people there for Stephen since none of his family can make it. We won't be able to be there, but our attorney is filing a motion for us to listen in by phone, sort of like a teleconference.

If you think you'll go over to the hearing, let me know...

Thanks!

Finally some great news!!!

So, on Friday, it will have been 3 months since Stephen died and we still don't have any answers. We still don't know all the details of the accident. We still don't know the defendant's blood alcohol level. We're still waiting.

But I got great news today. Stephen's toxicology results came in. And it's good...really good. Stephen had no drugs in his system and his BAC was .05, which means he wasn't intoxicated. If given the chance to react and make a split-second decision to avoid the accident, he wouldn't have been too impaired to do so.

Our family is so happy and relieved to know that Stephen was IN NO WAY at fault for the accident. He IN NO WAY contributed to the accident. Just knowing that has taken such a huge weight off our shoulders.

Thanks so much for caring about Stephen and keeping in touch with me. We're getting by one-day-at-a-time. It's a very hard thing to go through and it's still really hard to believe it's real. I mean...it seems like he was just here with us.

We talk about him in our household EVERY DAY. There's no way my kids will be able to forget Uncle Steve. I've been worried that my youngest son, who was 2 when Stephen died, would forget him. But we keep Stephen alive in our house and make sure he's never forgotten.