Whatcha gonna do about it?

So, I just happened to stumble across an amazing story that I saw in the comments section of the heartbreaking story I posted before. His name is Matt Maher. He was your average all-American guy who had everything going for him, who chose to drink and drive and killed a father of six. He is now in prison for 5.5 years. Before he went to prison, he created a presentation called "I'm That Guy." Nobody ever thinks they're going to be "that guy," that they're invincible. But he became him. Yet, he lived every day thinking, What can I do to even begin to try and make up for it? He knows there's no way he can ever make up for it, but he can try to live his life to honor Hort Kap and his family.

I became fascinated with Matt Maher's website and his blog, which he writes from prison. I began corresponding with Matt's mother.

All of this got me thinking, what's Chrissie doing? She has not reached out to us since her sentencing. Before the sentencing, she sent me a card. She came to meet us (in person) without her attorney, to tell us how sorry she was and how she never went a day without thinking about Stephen or us. Yet, since the sentencing, I haven't heard a thing about her. She told us in person that she wants to work with MADD, she wants to talk to kids about what she did. She's supposed to be doing 300 hours of community service. I want to know what she's doing to begin to try to make up for what she did. Yeah, she did less than 1 year in prison. But that's to punish her. My punishment has lasted a lot longer than that. What's she going to do to help us? My dad and step-mom go to schools and speak to kids and young-adults all the time about the dangers of alcohol abuse and driving under the influence. My parents lost a son and they're doing more to make it mean something than the person who took him away has even tried to do.

The last thing I heard about her was when the South Carolina Victims Notification e-system called me and told me she was being released. I know she'll be on house arrest until April 2013. These are all facts that anybody can look up. I want to know what she's doing day-to-day. I want to know what she's doing for her community service. I want to know if she's giving speeches using my brother's name. I'm not trying to be a stalker, I just want to know if she's making good on her word, or if what she told us was just her way of trying to look good in the eyes of the court.

I know that people close to her have read this blog because they mentioned it in court. I hope they're still reading it. I hope she's reading it. Chrissie: If you are reading this, you can contact me. I want you to. I want to know that, since my brother can't live his life anymore, that you're making yours mean something. That you're doing something positive with yours and not just wallowing in self-pity. I want to know that you are trying to discourage people from making the same choices you did. I use every opportunity I have to tell people about what happened to my brother so that hopefully it will stick in someone's mind and when the opportunity presents itself to drink-and-drive or get a ride home, they will remember Stephen and Chrissie and think twice.

I'm not mad. I'm not bitter. I have forgiven her, even before court, I forgave her. I just want to know she's living her life for Stephen's memory and that what she did really affected her. It affected me. I'm suffering. I can't imagine how angry I would be if I knew that she was "over it," "it's in the past." I want her to contact me. Chrissie: I haven't moved. It's still the same address you sent the card to. Let me know how you're doing. Let me know what you're doing. I'm here.

For Matt Maher's story, click HERE.

Four Men Dead at the Hands of Underage Drunk Driver

Photo from Tampa Bay Online

August 3, 2010
Story from: Lauren Russell at CNN

(CNN) -- Roy McConnell and his three sons left their wives and children to go see the film "Predators" in St. Petersburg, Florida, Saturday night. They were enjoying a family reunion with a week at the beach.

Around 4:30 a.m. Sunday morning, Anais McConnell woke up and noticed her husband, Nathan, wasn't lying beside her. She got out of bed and woke up the other women in the house. They waited on the sofa for the men to return, hoping they hadn't been carjacked.

They saw a television report about an accident involving a black car, similar to the one the men drove to the movies, that left four people dead, but they didn't want to consider the possibility that it could be their loved ones.

Anais McConnell said police weren't returning their phone calls. Hours later, authorities showed up on their porch to bring them the news: Their husbands were dead.

Anais McConnell, as well as her sister-in-law and mother-in-law, were widows.

Nathan, 24; his father, 51, and his two brothers, Elroy III, 28, and Kelly, 19, were killed by a drunk driver who ran a red light, police said.

Their widows spoke about their losses during a news conference Tuesday in Orlando, Florida, holding framed photographs of the men. They said they hope that sharing their story will make people think twice before getting behind the wheel after drinking.

"He wanted to teach our son how to play football and how to treat a girl right," said Elroy McConnell's wife, Sandie.

"I know that people will drink and drive, but know that this could have been any of you. I hope and pray that the next time you drink and drive you think about this."

Demetrius Jordan, the driver of the other car, has been charged with four counts of manslaughter while driving under the influence and one count of serious injury while driving under the influence, according to a report from the St. Petersburg Police Department. Jordan, 20, and his passenger, Mario Robinson, also 20, were taken to Bayfront Hospital with serious injuries soon after the midnight accident. The McConnell men were pronounced dead at the scene, according to the report.

Kelly McConnell had celebrated his 19th birthday with his family and girlfriend the day before, a family member said.

As the women described the men's accomplishments and characters, there were some chuckles and many tears. One of the women, debilitated by grief, was carried off in the middle of the news conference.

The reality was still hard to accept, but they didn't want to dwell on why this happened to them, a few said.

"I hope we could work toward forgiveness," said Amy Voelker, Roy McConnell's widow, who also lost her three sons. "We want to honor our guys... it would be tragic to let that young man's decision affect us in a negative way."

Voelker said the family members who stood beside her during the news conference represented only a fraction of the people affected by the men's deaths, and she hoped others could learn from the horror that had befallen her family.

"I'd hate for anyone else to have to bear this type of tragedy," she said.

As the news conference ended, family members placed the men's photographs around a tree, where others could see and remember.


Another article which describes the men in more detail:

Family tearfully remembers 4 killed by suspected drunken driver

Howard Altman of the Tampa Tribune and Jennifer Leigh of News Channel 8

ORLANDO - One by one, the women came to the bank of microphones, alternately crying and fighting back tears, recalling the four men in their lives who died when a driver slammed into their Ford Fusion as they were headed back to a vacation rental from a movie.

The driver of that car, Demetrius Jordan, 20, has been charged with four counts of driving while under the influence, four counts of manslaughter and one count of DUI/great bodily injury. He also was charged with being an underage person in possession of alcohol.

Elroy McConnell II and his adult sons Elroy McConnell III, Kelly McConnell, and Nathan McConnell were killed when their vehicle was hit by the car driven by Jordan, police said.

But the women, surrounded by more than a dozen family and friends, were not there to talk about Jordan. They were there to talk about the men who died.

Rebecca Watson – aunt of crash victim Kelly McConnell - said Kelly's father, Elroy McConnell II, lived life full throttle.

"Roy did everything 1,000 percent," said Watson. "He didn't just coach youth football, he helped start a new league so more kids in this community of East Orlando could play youth football. He didn't just quickly profess his faith, he studied the Bible daily and pored over books and discussed the Bible with anybody who would listen.''

Watson said Elroy McConnell II had the same attitude toward physical fitness, and charity, tithing and helping those less fortunate.

"He surprised people at restaurants by paying for their meals," she said. "He gave cash or food to people who did not have it. A week ago, he took $100 in cash and spent the day trying to find people to help."

McConnell's son, Kelly, turned 19 just days before the wreck, Watson said.

"We celebrated Kelly's 19th birthday on July 30, less than two days before he died," she said. "Nineteen years is a brief amount of time, but somehow Kelly seemed to fill it up to overflowing."

Watson described Kelly as a "tough guy" who loved football.

He played from age 6 to high school, she said.

"Even at 3 he could recognize the NFL team names from football cards," she said.

Kelly also followed in the family tradition of helping others.

"When Kelly was about 8, he realized his mom and dad tithed, and pledged part of his allowance, giving $2 of the $8 allowance every two weeks, Watson said."

He took that same plan forward with his girlfriend, Celine Parietti, she said.

"They planned to give 10 percent to charity when they graduated from college," she said.

Anaiis McConnell says her daughter wakes up every morning looking for her father, Nathan.

"She always looked up to her dad," she said. "She loved him very much. Each morning she wakes up asking for daddy and I don't know what to say to her."

McConnell said she and Nathan had just celebrated their fourth wedding anniversary. Sunday morning, when her husband had still not come to bed, McConnell said she started to wake up others at the vacation home.

"We did not know what was going on,'' McConnell said. "Hours passed. We sat on the couch waiting for him to walk through the door."

Then they saw a TV story about a fatal accident.

"We knew the car was black, but we did not want to think it was their car," she said. "Minutes and seconds passed. Police never returned our phone calls. We checked every hospital everywhere."

Eventually, they got the horrible news.

"I realized he was gone," McConnell said. "It was not his time to go. It was too soon."

Sandie McConnell, wife of Elroy McConnell III, remembered her husband as her "heart and soul, the beat of my heart and light of day, the air that I breathe. He was not just my husband, but my best friend."

She had a message for anyone who drinks and drives.

"We all know people who drink and drive," she said, "but ultimately, this is the result. It could be any one of you. Your spouse. Your child. It could be your life. Because of this poor decision, now we are widows and kids have to grow up without daddies. I hope and pray the next time you go to drink and drive, stop and think about this tragedy."

A celebration of life service will be held for the McConnells at 2 p.m. Monday at University Carillon United Methodist Church, 1395 Campus View Court, Oviedo, Fla., 32765. For information, call the church at (407) 359-2112.

The family is setting up an account at Bank of America to assist with funeral services and college trust funds for Elroy McConnell II's grandchildren.

Reporter Howard Altman can be reached at (813) 259-7629.

And click here to see a video from Fox 13 in Tampa Bay.


I will be following this story. This is so terribly sad. So many people needlessly lost their lives in such a preventable way. I am so sad for the family.