Stephen on MyDeathSpace.com

I've gotten 3 messages from strangers lately sending condolences and when I asked one of them how they found out about Stephen, they said his myspace profile was posted on MyDeathSpace.com, a website where they list the myspace pages that memorialize people.

I am so glad Stephen's story is making the rounds. We have a lot of people in so many states and countries learning about what a great person Stephen was and what drunk driving does to families. My two wishes are that:

1. People will learn that drunk driving is sooooo avoidable and can have repercussions too numerous to count. DON'T DO IT!!!

and

2. For any families and loved ones going through the death of a young person in their life, whether it be due to drunk driving or any other sudden, tragic cause, I hope that my blogging and messages from Stephen's friends can be a source of comfort and education. Along this whole journey, my main questions have been, "why?", and "what's the next step?" Stephen's death wasn't just going through the tragic loss, but also learning a lot about the legal system. I've been through this with my parents every step of the way, and if I can just help one person know who to contact or how to follow up and not let their loved one die in vain, that would be a lot for me.

So...who posted Stephen's Myspace on MyDeathSpace.com? Just curious...it may not have been any of his friends, just someone who came across it. It was posted on December 29. Here's the link:

Stephen on MyDeathSpace.com

And to look at more Myspace profiles for people who have passed away, scroll up to the top of Stephen's page there and click on latest articles. It will give you a list. It's so sad how many families are grieving.

Thanks for still being there, all of you.

A message from Stephen?

So I was cleaning the living room and came across a magazine that came in the mail that I hadn't opened yet. It was wrapped in plastic and I noticed there was a poster with it. I opened the poster up and it was an ad for the Nikon D3 camera. It was taken at the Brainerd International Speedway.

I thought, "Stephen would love this poster."

Then I noticed all the bikes had numbers on them. I said to Bill, "Wouldn't that be wierd if one of them had the number 7 on it?" And I noticed, the teeny one in the background WAS number 7.

Then I noticed the helmets...all ARAI helmets, the same brand Stephen wore. Is that a coincidence or what?

I am getting little messages like this more and more and I definitely feel Stephen is still with me. I was really having a hard time, the closer it got to Christmas, so this poster just made my day.

I'll put the poster below, and I've inset the helmet and the bike number, zoomed in, into the picture.



And Stephen's helmet. His had stickers on it, too, but this is a stock photo of his helmet.

Greater news...

We had a meeting with our attorney this morning, and we finally got an answer we've been waiting for...the driver's toxicology results. The female who hit Stephen had blood and urine samples taken and tested.

I was strongly encouraged NOT to give you the EXACT number of her Blood Alcohol Content, but I will tell you that it was over the legal limit and there is absoutely no way she will be able to "wriggle" out of this situation. It was high enough that she will be prosecuted to the fullest extent. I will also tell you that once I am able to tell you, you absolutely WILL NOT believe it when you hear it...it's that unbelieveable!

We're one step closer to justice...!

The picture says a lot...

This picture was taken on July 4th, 2007. I haven't seen it before today. I was looking at my camera and Stephen was watching the kids play. Those shorts are the ones we chose for the viewing, and now that I've seen the picture and found that he liked wearing them, I think we made the right choice.

Beautiful way to explain death

WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT...


A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door. On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing...

I know my Master is there and that is enough."

May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly
Where you are meant to be.
I believe that friends are quiet angels
Who lift us to our feet when our wings
Have trouble remembering how to fly.

3 months today...

It has been 3 months today, Stephen. I can't believe we made it this long without you. The day I saw you in the morgue, I thought I wouldn't be able to make it one day, let alone 3 months.

I miss you so bad. But your death was not in vain. You have touched people all over the world through your death, and so many people have gotten to see first-hand what drunk driving does to families. We are so proud of you that you had no drugs in your system and that you weren't drunk. That makes us so proud.

We're going to court in less than 2 weeks and we can't wait to finally have some more answers.

We love you more than words can say and you are deeply, terribly missed. I hope you're smiling down on us and you are proud of what we're doing for you. I hope we've done everything you would have wanted us to do for you. I love you, little brother.

The preliminary hearing has been scheduled

We got the call today! The preliminary hearing has been scheduled! This is the hearing where the evidence will be presented and Chrissie will enter her plea. Let's hope she pleads guilty and makes this be over as soon as possible.

We're being told it could be a year before the actual trial begins. After the prelim. hearing, it goes before the Grand Jury, and that's a close courtroom. So none of us will be allowed in. Then we have the trial. Who knows how long that will be?

The preliminary hearing will be in 2 weeks; on Wednesday, December 19 at 9:00am at the Greenville County Court House. If you can make it over there, it would be nice to have people there for Stephen since none of his family can make it. We won't be able to be there, but our attorney is filing a motion for us to listen in by phone, sort of like a teleconference.

If you think you'll go over to the hearing, let me know...

Thanks!

Finally some great news!!!

So, on Friday, it will have been 3 months since Stephen died and we still don't have any answers. We still don't know all the details of the accident. We still don't know the defendant's blood alcohol level. We're still waiting.

But I got great news today. Stephen's toxicology results came in. And it's good...really good. Stephen had no drugs in his system and his BAC was .05, which means he wasn't intoxicated. If given the chance to react and make a split-second decision to avoid the accident, he wouldn't have been too impaired to do so.

Our family is so happy and relieved to know that Stephen was IN NO WAY at fault for the accident. He IN NO WAY contributed to the accident. Just knowing that has taken such a huge weight off our shoulders.

Thanks so much for caring about Stephen and keeping in touch with me. We're getting by one-day-at-a-time. It's a very hard thing to go through and it's still really hard to believe it's real. I mean...it seems like he was just here with us.

We talk about him in our household EVERY DAY. There's no way my kids will be able to forget Uncle Steve. I've been worried that my youngest son, who was 2 when Stephen died, would forget him. But we keep Stephen alive in our house and make sure he's never forgotten.

The Number 7 and Jimmie Johnson

So, those of you closest to Stephen know that he LOVED Jimmie Johnson, the Nascar driver. Every time Jimmie won, Stephen would call my husband Bill, who is a Dale Jr fan and rub it in his face! Anyway, tonight Jimmie Johnson won the Nascar Championship by 77 points, and finished tonight's race in 7th place.

Now, the number 7 has some strange relationship with Stephen. We can't quite explain it, but it just keeps popping up all around. Here's a list...

** Stephen's dirt bike has the 7 on it's front. We have a picture of Stephen as a baby on a motorcycle ride at Chuck E. Cheese and the bike has the 7 on the front. This was a total coincidence! (See below.)



** Stephen died on September 7th on Hwy 276.

** Stephen's favorite football player was Michael Vick, who is #7.

** Stephen's birthday is in July, which is the 7th month.

Do any of you have anything that you can think of? Anything that sticks out in your mind that includes the number 7?

2 months today...

Today is the 2-month anniversary of Stephen's death. Please take a moment to think of Stephen and go light a candle for him at

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=DiPat

He is so missed and so loved.

I can't believe it's already been 2 months. A part of me still doesn't believe it's real. It really hurts and it so difficult to think that my kids have to grow up without their Uncle Steve and that I will NEVER get to be an Aunt to children he may have had in the future or a Sister-in-Law to a future wife.

I miss everything about him. I miss his laugh, I miss his pranks, I miss his hugs, I miss his calls, I miss getting mad at him and frustrated at him, I miss being bossy, which he hated so much ever since he was a little kid. I miss him sleeping on my couch. I miss having to tell Trey and Stephen to settle down before someone gets hurt. I miss him giving Makinsey extra attention so she didn't feel left out. I miss him getting to see movies before me and then him telling me all about them and that he's seen it already 3 times. I miss him calling to brag every time Jimmie Johnson won a race. I miss him calling me Nee-cole instead of Nih-cole. I miss his silly little videos he sent me from his phone. I miss his stories. I miss reminiscing about the past and laughing about it. I MISS HIM. Period.

Stephen, I love you and miss you more than I can ever say. I want you back with us. I want you here. And I know that's selfish because you had a hard life and suffered a lot. I know I'll see you again.



Your big sister,

Nicole

The girl who hit Stephen with her car

I have pictures of the girl who hit Stephen with her car. For now, until she's convicted, I have to refer to her as the ALLEGED drunk driver, since we're still waiting on her tox results to come in. It has been 5 weeks since the accident. We have a prosecutor assigned to the case and now we're just waiting on a preliminary hearing to be scheduled. We're told it could be as long as 6 months from now, and even that's considered "quick." So it could be longer. The waiting is the hardest part. I can't wait to go to court and see how this all plays out. I will be there every time. I will let everyone know the court dates if you all want to go.

I'm not going to write the girl's name, but you can at least see what she looks like. I'm not going to say anything about her. I don't want to hurt the case at all. I may even be pushing it a little by even posting this blog. But if any of you are like me, you need a face to put with the action. I can say that she is only 20 years old...barely 20. She turned 20 just about 2 weeks before the accident.

Roadside Memorial

Stephen's friends in North and South Carolina held a roadside memorial today on the 1-month anniversary of his death. It was really nice. They did a balloon send-off, where they wrote messages on cards tied to balloons and let them go. They put a cross at the side of the road where the accident happened. The cross is hollow, so the boys put some of Stephen's ashes inside. They planted flowers around his cross.











And some videos from today:

The balloon lift-off



If you watch this video, about 17 seconds into it, you get to see from the driver's point of view, what she would have seen, sitting exactly where her car was sitting about to come out and turn left. Stephen was coming from her left around that curve in the distance.

Stephen's amazing friends

If I could send you each a thank you card, I would. I can't begin to express how thankful I am for all of you. Your support, words of encouragement, offers of help, and kind words about Stephen have made this entire ordeal manageable. I don't really know how we'd get through if we didn't have all of you. It's so nice to know that Stephen was so loved.

My mom and I were talking about this today. I never knew of anyone who met Stephen and didn't like him. People were just automatically drawn to him. He was infectious. You could not help but love him. I don't even know of any fights he was ever in. It's like everyone he met instantly became his friend. It's so nice to be able to say that about him. It makes me so proud to be his sister and it's such a testament to the way he was raised. My parents can be assured that they had one hell of a son.

Stephen touched so many people. And I am happy to have met a lot of you at the service. Like I said there, if you were friends of Stephen's, you must be spectacular people.

Thanks so much for being there for us in this difficult time. We miss him so much, as I'm sure you all do too.

Please tell others about his memorial site. We really want to educate people about the effects of under-age drunk driving, especially the effects it has on the family of the victims. Please pass it along to all the people in your address book and post a bulletin.

His website is www.geocities.com/lcmom01/stephen.html.

And don't forget to sign the guestbook.

Please if you're going to drink, please have a designated driver, or take a cab. Please don't put anyone else through this pain.

Nicole and Family

3 Motorcyclists killed in 4 days in SC

GREENVILLE, S.C. -- For the third time in four days, a motorcyclist has been killed in a wreck.

The most recent fatal wreck happened on Pelham Road at about 1 a.m. Monday.

A passerby found the motorcyclist lying in the road. He was taken to the hospital, where he died.

The victim has been identified as 24-year-old Patrick O'Connell of Tigerville. Greenville County Chief Deputy Coroner Mike Ellis said O'Connell was not wearing a helmet. He hit a curb and fell off the bike. He died of head injuries.

Over the weekend, another motorcyclist was killed on Piedmont Highway when he was struck by two cars.

And last week, a Brevard man [STEPHEN] who was riding north on Geer Highway was killed when a vehicle pulled into his path. He was wearing a helmet, but it wasn't enough to save his life. There is no helmet law in South Carolina.

Willi Johnk, the GM of Power Sports of Greenville more and more motorcycle riders are on the roads these days and that the other drivers should be more mindful of them.

Johnk said, "I've seen them read papers, drinking coffee, tlking on the cell phone. Everyone's always talking on the cell phone. It diverts their attention."

He said naturally, it's much harder to see a motorcycle because of its small size, and the speed can be somewhat deceiving.

He said one of the way bikers are making themselves more visible on the roads is with bright colors -- experts say red and yellow are best.

Johnk said he tells all motorcycle riders to always be on the defense, plan ahead and never assume.

He said, "Another thing that motorcycle riders need to do is stay to the left of the lane so that drivers can look in the rear view mirror and see us behind them."

And motorists should check -- and double check -- to make sure that a bike is not in a blind spot.

Copyright 2007 by WYFF4.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

The Next Step

If anyone wants to know what we're doing with Stephen's body...


Stephen will be cremated today. His friends Casey, Corey and Clayton are going to spread his ashes in their favorite places. Places Stephen would want to be forever. It is the hardest thing to leave him behind. But we'll make it. We have too.

Funeral Service Info

Stephen's service, his Celebration of Life, will be at 3:00pm today (Sunday) at Moody-Connolly Funeral Home in Brevard, NC. It's on Caldwell Street.

Everyone is welcome.

Stephen's Death: What happened

It's Nicole, Stephen's sister. I'll be maintaining his page because  just don't think we should stop sending him messages and talking about him since he can't be here with us anymore. I want anyone to come here and say what they want him to know. It can be a place of healing and bonding. Stephen was so loved and it's so apparent on his page.

Now onto the reason I wrote this bulletin:

Make sure you want to read this before you scroll down...It has pretty graphic details, but I'm going to just say it all so I don't have to tell it 100 times at the service...the papers don't tell you everything. Mom and I have SEEN Stephen. We have read the reports, spoken to the coroner, spoken with the lead investigator. We have the details and I am just going to be frank and put it all out there. No offense meant, but if you don't want to know, then just don't read it. I'm putting this here for anyone who NEEDS or wants to know.

So here goes...

 

 

On Thursday, September 6, 2007 Stephen reconnected with a friend from 8th grade who was his best friend in Largo, FL. He was heartbroken when she moved away. She found him on myspace and they made plans to reunite. She now lives in Greenville, SC. He went over and spent the day with her, talking, reminiscing, laughing, dining. About 11:30, Stephen left to go home in Brevard and planned to return to Greenville on the next night to spend time with her again.

I originally gave y'all the wrong highway number. It was HWY 276. He was travelling on 276 to head back to Brevard and the road became a 2-lane road. There is a neighborhood there and a road that leads out of the neighborhood and intersects with 276. A 20-year-old girl, who is a college student and lifeguard, was intoxicated and pulled her Jeep out into the road right in front of his motorcycle. He smashed into her driver door, and the impact was so great that he broker her window and caved in the entire door about a foot inward. His throat hit the roof of the car and he was essentially "clothes-lined". It instantly snapped his trachea/windpipe and broke his spinal cord, severing communication from his brain to his heart and lungs. He had collapsed lungs, a broken arm, a broken windpipe and neck, among other injuries, but he died instantly, so he felt no pain.

The girl was arrested, surrendured blood and urine samples and we are awaiting tox results to see if she was over the legal limit of .08. Right now she is in jail and being charged with Felony DUI, which carries a maximum sentence of 30 years. But it could be 6 months. It all depends. There will be a trial, it will probably drag on for a long time. it probably may not even begin for at least a year. But we will be here.

We saw Stephen's body. He loked so peaceful. He had his eyes slightly open and he HAD A SMILE ON HIS FACE. He looked like he was just laying there watching TV or something. He just didn't look dead. We got to hug him and kiss him and tell him we love him. My mom, of course, begged him to wake up. We said goodbye.

We have an appointment with the funeral home at 2:00 today. We'll be holding a service for him on Sunday. We'll let you know the exact time. It won't be a funeral though. It's going to be a celebration of his life.