Tomorrow is 8 months

I can't believe that tomorrow will be 8 months since Stephen died. I still have to remind myself frequently that he's really gone. My mom said the other day when we were talking: "Sometimes I just think 'Oh my God. His neck was broken. My baby's neck was actually broken.'" I feel so sad for my mom and dad. I know that it's sad for me to have lost my brother, but I can't imagine losing one of my kids. I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like.

My friend Kim, Griffen's big sister, sent me the following message after I called her upset last week, and it's so true that I wanted to pass it along here:

Grief does not proceed in a linear fashion. It circles. You feel better. You feel yourself heal. And then, wham!--you are back on your emotional knees. Still as the days pass, the circles widen. When grief returns again, it finds you stronger.

Griffen didn't get any justice in court today. The adult who provided him with alcohol only received 30 days (suspended sentence), 50 hours community service and a $257 fine. I can't believe he could basically buy his way out, while Griffen got the death penalty. If you haven't read about Griffen below, check out his website: GriffensGift.com.

There's still something big happening in 17 days. I haven't posted the details here because I don't want to jinx it, but as soon as it happens, I will give all the details, I promise.